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We are the people whom Allah honoured through Islam, so whenever we seek honour other than it, Allah will disgrace us.

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

British Papers

British Newspapers can be neatly categorized thus:

The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country and think Hitler was rather a nice chap.
The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it already is.
The Sun is read by people who don’t care who runs the country, as long as she’s got big tits.
The Daily Sport is read by people who don't know what a country is. But they like tits!
The Star is read by people who think that everyone should run their own country, with girls with BIG TITS!
The Express is read by people who hate their country, everybody else's country and themselves, and everything in general.
The Independent is read by people who own the newspapers.

7 Comments:

Blogger ihsan_huhu said...

sure, gordon brown got bigger manboobs than toby blair n the queen

11:33 PM  
Blogger laniaz_ said...

cuba ko wat list ni untuk suratkhabar msia lak. hahaha.

12:47 AM  
Blogger ahmad syafiq al-gonzalez said...

xpenah baca

6:37 AM  
Anonymous sk said...

Mana kau dapat nih?

2:37 AM  
Blogger zacharias said...

ada la kat internet. aku baca lama dulu, tapi tiap2 kali baca mesti gelak

6:31 PM  
Blogger saleh said...

let me try Ihsan's challenge.

Metro is read by people who fancy funky sex.
Kosmo is read by people who have excessive belief in alam ghaib and hedonistic life.
TheStar, which is heavily sponsored by Tesco, Guardian and Giant is read by households for great promotions.
NST is read by those who believe in satu malaysia concept, but sadly the chinese do not buy NST but theStar.
Harakah is generally read by people who loves lambasting governemnt's effort, without providing alternative constructive views.
Last but not least, Utusan is read by people who believe that all newspapers are wrong but Utusan. For them, Utusan's righteousness is second to none, but Al-Quran!

9:12 PM  
Blogger zacharias said...

The NST is read by educated people
The Star is read by people who think they are educated, and ought to educate everyone
The Berita Harian is read by educated people, but not enough to read NST
The Utusan is read by people who think the only important education is about malay supremacy
The Kosmo is read by people who do not care about education
The Metro is read by people who think only sexual education matters
The Harakah is read by those who think all the problems with education is because of the BN's fault
The Suara Keadilan is read by those who believe education should be Adil, but cannot describe what is fair education system.
Mastika is old newspaper, which no longer publish any educational matter.

*Manga is read by those who think only flesh by the swimming pool does matter.

12:44 AM  

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